#75 Get Choosy With Your People

Good Morning!

I wrote about this topic a little bit last at the beginning of the last year, and I’d like to explore this topic a little more.

What I wrote about before is that we generally become the average of the five people that we spend the bulk of our time with.

This post is about getting specific in regard to the people we spend our time with and how it’s going to change us on a fundamental level.

It seems too good to be true, but it’s the reason why business conventions exist: networking. It’s one of the best ways to get your name out there in your niche.

As the old saying goes: “Sometimes it’s not what you know, its who you know.”

If you’re not where you want to be in life in regard to how much money, status, or power you have, then the best piece of advice around is to make friends with the people who do and start spending a lot of your time with them.

Want more money? Hang out with people that have more money than you do.

Want more success in what you do? Hang out with people that seem to have the success you want.

Want to be surrounded by beautiful people? Find some pick-up artists to hang out with.

Want more decision-making power? Time to go golfing with  politicians.

Spending time around the right people will get you a lot of the necessary know-how you need just by proximity. You’ll pick up on how they treat and talk to others, what questions they ask, how they think about the things that actually make a difference to their success, and how people treat them in return. They’ll teach just about everything you need to know even without either of you knowing it.

Most people will change what they’re doing almost without knowing it because fitting is a primal instinct. We want to be a part of the group and we need to fit in.  Our survival used to depend on it and in some respects it still does.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: how do I make friends with the people who I want to be like? I just can’t go hang out with Richard Branson, Elon Musk, Jay Z, or Steven Spielberg.

Well, those people didn’t always have their notoriety. They all came up through the ranks starting at one level or another and made a lot of friends who helped them along the way. A lot of those people who helped are at the level that you probably want to shoot for before your luck kicks in and gets you get the ultra success that the famous people we hear about have.

After enough time, others with notice your personality changing.

This is a good time to mention that if you don’t want to change too much on a fundamental level, you’ll need to spend a lot of time with a ‘moral anchor’. This is usually the person who you spend the most time with already, but remember that you’re going to have to change on a fundamental level in order to get the success you want.

I think it’s important to also note that we aren’t all meant to have the success that we wish for.

High levels of success come with problems and unforeseeable challenges; even Biggie wrote about having more problems the wealthier he became. If you take a look at the people who win the lottery, most of them end up exactly where they started in only a few years, and sometimes worse off.

This is exactly what happened to me: I got the success I worked hard for, and I couldn’t physically or mentally handle it at the time. Now I’m back where to where I started; and that’s not a bad thing. It is invaluable experience.

The takeaway of today’s article is to shoot for half the success you’re dreaming about having. Find someone who’s at or close to that level already and start hanging out with them on a regular basis and pay attention.

There’s no shame in leveling up slowly either; that’s what works for most of us anyways.

I hope you enjoyed today’s post.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you think.

Have a great day!