#64 – A New Direction, Sort Of.

Good Morning!

I haven’t published anything in nearly three weeks. Sorry for not letting you know what I was doing, that’s all on me.

I’ll be sure to make a post about any future hiatus the next time around. Either that or I’ll have to prepare some content ahead of time to keep you busy while I duck out the back for a break.

Here’s the scoop.

I decided that I wasn’t going to publish anything or engage in social media while I was prepping to be and while I was away from home for a few weeks.  A week with the family and a couple weeks for work plus the travel time.

Just three days before I was scheduled to travel, my work plans fell through, so I decided to spend more time with the family and just take a break.

I haven’t worked in that industry since February and to be honest, I didn’t really want to do that work again anyways. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise?

I agreed to the work trip because I need top up the bank account again, and I still do because as fun and personally rewarding being a new content creator is, it doesn’t pay the bills yet.

When I sent the confirmation email for the work trip something happened to my thought process. Pressing the send button for email was like flipping a switch back into my old stressed-out rat-race lifestyle.

It felt like what I’ve been doing for the past four months was instantly deprioritized and didn’t matter anymore and all that mattered was making money again. This is why I didn’t publish anything the Saturday or Sunday before left to spend time with the family.

It was such a strange feeling because everything that I had created up to that point had such an enormous value to me, and it still does.  I even made a point to save all the money I could from my last work trip so I could concentrate on learning about writing and recording and streaming and not have worry about where the money was going to come from.

I’m invested enough into what I’ve learned this year that I want to keep doing it.  I want to be in the business of helping people, not just being a cog in a giant business machine. I want to feel like I’m actually in business for myself and not just a contracted employee.

Mind you, being a cog in the machine isn’t a bad thing either.  It has so many positives that I sometimes wonder why I even bother trying to make my own way at all.  But, I always end up back at the exact same point of being burned-out and resentful of having my time taken advantage of, because when I’m a cog in the machine, all I’m selling is my time. Enough with that.

I’ve never been able to fully figure out the work-life balance idea either because I don’t think my gears ever stopped turning; this is the curse or superpower of an ever-curious mind. Even when I’m out having fun or doing nothing at all sitting on the couch unmotivated, there is always something stirring in the background.

I’m a maker of things at heart and I’ve always enjoyed helping people fix their stuff or make that custom thing they need.  

It’s always been the side hustle that’s brought me the most joy.

Most of the time it’s something that needs to be welded, fabricated, or wired, which is cool because I love doing that kind of work.

I think I should do this more seriously and make it the topic of my content in the future.

Want to hear about the welding repair I’m going to finish up this morning on an oil tank for a Lamborghini, and the installation of new wiring system for a 1967 Chevrolet Camaro that I’ll be installing this afternoon?

Let me know what you think in the comments!

Have a great day!

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Author: Karsy

Your average writer, maker, robot programming, gaming, tig welding, foodie, car jock, who loves to travel and is obsessed with coffee and lifting heavy things. Cheers!

One thought on “#64 – A New Direction, Sort Of.”

  1. Oh boi you fixin up lambos now eh woohoo! I hear the $ is at the top in this car fab/tuning industry, good going! Maybe one day someone will let me tune their lambo and not get pissed if I blow it up 🙂

    I definitely hear ya on just being a cog. Just because you’re essential doesn’t mean you’re important. And I honestly think that deep inside us we all want to feel like a unique and special flower, it’s somehow wired into us unless we drown our ambitions with drugs, women and alcohol. There’s incredible potential inside each and everyone of us but most people don’t explore it, out of fear of criticism, fear of poverty or they simply don’t believe in themselves. FWIW I think you’re on the right path. Not on the fully paved superhighway to achieving your dreams, as that would require full 100% no plan B live in parents basement sell your dog to survive (Stallone) kinda commitement to plan A… But most of us mortals can’t do that. We’re just wired for survival = safe path. But having said all that I believe there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

    Never forget my friend, anything worthwhile doing is worth doing with all your heart and most of those things require a lot of time and patience.

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